I have heard this question a lot during the last month. I think that most people assume that since I just returned home before Christmas that I have a few months left here. But not so. I get on the plane on 14 February. My suitcase is filling up.. mostly with things for the CPT house or gifts for a few people there. I left a big bag of clothes behind in Suleymania- ones that I would not mind never seeing again if all of a sudden our NGO status was revoked, or if I suddenly became too ill to return. Of course I have the necessary pounds of coarsely ground coffee for our coffee machine as well as a metal coffee filter so we won't ever have to ask people to bring those.
I have now completed a year's worth of commitment to CPT. Thinking about returning this time is a teeny bit harder than the last two. I am still eager to be there with the Kurdish people and to be with my wonderful team mates again, but thinking about leaving is a little harder. I wonder if I am copping out of trying to find a life here in Winnipeg. Am I hiding behind the "adventure" of going to a land which when I say its name so many people suck in their breath and say "isn't it dangerous there?". I leave tiny bits of myself all around the world. And I do think that someday I will have to leave those bits where they lie and try to re-create myself in one place.
So, in the meantime I gather my Kurdish flashcards to go through this week while Vic and I are on vacation at a wintery Manitoba cabin. I prepare my heart and my direction for what it may face in the next three months. Thank you for following my blog. I love seeing your numbers and the countries where you sign in from. It is a privilege for me to have you interested enough to read my thoughts and the stories that I tell.
wow, kathy, some of your thoughts totally echo my own - leaving pieces of myself all over the world. for a while, i tried to stop and settle myself in one place. it didn't work out for me :)
ReplyDeleteLove you big sister. There are times I wish I could maybe "run away" to a country far away! Sometimes dealing with people here at home (not my own family, but others I have contact with in different capacities) is harder than one could imagine. We get wrapped up in things that really aren't that important, but are made to be important for whatever reason. SIGH:) Will be thinking about you as you get ready to leave again. I love to hear about your adventures.
ReplyDelete